Yes We Can (And Yes, We Did!)
November 7, 2008 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 10 Comments
There are no words adequate enough to convey how proud I am of my country. I’ll spare you the long version of my election night. It’s likely that you experienced that wonderful night in your own way. If it was anything like my night, it involved a lot of cheering at the TV screen and jumping up and down on furniture.
If it was exactly like my night, it also involved tears. In the midst of a common room full of kids who’d just voted in their first presidential election, I cried. My friend turned to me and said, “We made history” and she was right. We did make history.
I’m not going anywhere (with this blog, anyway). I can’t abandon it. If there’s anything that I’ve learned these past few weeks (other than some things about quantum mechanics and differential calculus), it’s that I’ve missed writing. I’ve missed pouring my heart and soul into blog entries and then instantly sending them out onto the internet. I miss the e-mails and the comments that made their way back to me. I love having my own domain and if I have to pay for it, so be it. I will be making a few minor changes, but I’m not giving up on blogging anytime soon. Thanks for convincing me to stay.
I’m Not Dead, Just Pre-Med
October 15, 2008 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 19 Comments
Contrary to what you may think, I did not fall off the face of the earth. I’m still here and still very much alive (even though I am perpetually sick due to the fact that everyone in my dorm seems to be participating in a contest where the objective is to see how many times they can reinfect one another with the SAME cold).
There isn’t much to report about my classes. I’m taking the typical pre-med calculus/chemistry combo and it is killing me. I can deal with calculus because it makes sense to me. Chemistry, on the other hand, does not. My first midterm grade in Chemistry was a C and while other kids might have been extremely disappointed, I was ecstatic. I’d convinced myself that I’d failed miserably so getting a C was seemed wonderful in comparison to what could have happened.
There is no way that I’m gaining the freshman fifteen here even though I eat ice cream with every single meal (breakfast included). I have to bike everywhere and because I stupidly purchased a bike with no gears, the uphill ride is a workout. My legs no longer look like sticks. I’ve got muscles!
And in other (perhaps more interesting) news, I got my first kiss. Very recently, actually. It was… moist? I really don’t know how to describe it and since you’ve probably been kissed before, I won’t do so. This is the sort of news that most people would devote an entire blog entry to, but there really isn’t much to tell.
I have another midterm in a few hours and I should really study for it so this is the end of my very brief update. I’ve considered doing away with this blog completely because I don’t see the logic in paying 11 dollars a month for something that I can only update about once every few weeks. Thoughts?
This One Isn’t About College Life
September 22, 2008 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 14 Comments
Although I have been a bit absent, I have been having the time of my life. In the past week, I have completed orientation, met & bonded with a roommate who I genuinely like, said goodbye to my parents, and started taking my first classes (today, actually). It has been a whirlwind of a week and it seems that by some complete accident I finally have the chance to catch my breath long enough to write this blog entry.
The following is probably not something you’re interested in reading because it’s not been about how crazy college life is or how truly awesome it is to live in sweat pants, share a bathroom with a hall of complete strangers, and stay up into all hours of the night literally running around the campus with the best and craziest college band in the country. It’s not about that, but I’ll certainly write about that kind of stuff eventually.
In the past week, I have figured out a few very important things besides how to ride a bike with weird brakes and how to get to each class without being late. Any of you who have been with me these past two years (and few odd months) know that I have been struggling to find the answer to the question of what I want to do with the rest of my life. There was that phase where I told myself that I wanted to be a doctor and then I told my parents that I wanted to be a doctor and then the fact that they wanted me to become a doctor made me not want to want to become a doctor. I am aware that none of that makes sense and I guess that’s the point. None of my four years of high school made sense. In general, being a teenager does not make sense. And so what I’ve figured out is not how to make more sense, but that it isn’t entirely necessary to do so.
I didn’t stop wanting to become a doctor because I got so frustrated when that’s all my mother ever seemed to want to tell anyone in conversation or because as a kid who liked getting straight A’s, that would be the only way to rebel against my parents. That wasn’t it at all. It’s because of two things: fear and impatience. What I want to become (a trauma surgeon) will take many years and to be quite honest, I’m an impatient person. I want to jump right into things. There is also a whole lot of fear holding me back. Mainly, it’s the fear that I can’t do this. The fear that chemistry is one of my biggest weaknesses and that it just so happens to be one of the many requirements for medical school. That college level calculus isn’t the same as high school calculus and that getting a 5 on the AP exam might not mean very much here. That I’ll burn out after four years or eight years and that I won’t ever make it to my goal.
So there’s fear and there’s impatience and there’s also this thing called uncertainty. Despite all of these things, I’ve signed up for courses that typical pre-med kids sign up for and I’ve started thinking about the next four years and you know what? Even though those next four years include a hell of a lot of chemistry and calculus and all of those wonderfully tedious things that most kids avoid taking if at all humanly possible, I’m looking forward to them. Why? Again, two reasons.
First, I want to become a doctor more than anything. I think that it would be amazing to get to save lives on a regular basis and I think that all the people I’ll eventually help are worth all the Chem classes I’ll have to suffer through. Second (and most importantly), I have the most amazing, the most supportive, and the most loving family in the whole entire world and as long as they are here for me, I think I’ll be okay. I cried while typing that last sentence even though I didn’t cry when I walked away from my parents after we said goodbye. I’m finally realizing how far away they are now that I can’t talk to them whenever I feel like because we are: a. not all on the same cell phone plan, b. in different time zones, and c. always busy. I don’t regret going to school so far away, but I am counting down the days to Thanksgiving Break. The tears have been wiped away because my roomie just came in from class and that would be really awkward if she saw me crying all over my laptop. I have food to go eat and another class (chemistry, of course) to attend. That’s it for now.
Please note that this lame, mushy stuff is a rarity. From now on it’ll all be about sweat pants, communal bathrooms, cold pizza, and how much I hate chemistry.
